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What’s Next?

Well since Dear Hubby has been hinting about it on my Facebook page, I guess it’s okay to write about our separation, which will likely lead to a divorce down the line. This is a separation of my choosing and I am grateful that Dear Hubby has agreed that an amicable separation is in everyone’s best interest, especially Darling Daughter’s. My first husband hates me to this day, my second husband is a very good friend, and I have no idea what is to become of my relationship with Dear Hubby. Only time will tell.

And for those who need to know why, you don’t. But I will say that things happen in a person’s life that can create physical, emotional, and mental issues. And while it’s nice to think that spouses would be able to help support each other through these issues, sometimes that is just not in the realm of possibility.

Separating doesn’t happen all at once, it’s kind of the reverse process of falling in love. Even though it is truly necessary, that doesn’t make it any easier. But ultimately it amounts to this, I’m not the kind of girl that should be married. And that should be okay.

I’m a strong minded, stubborn, independent woman. And I really hope that doesn’t preclude me from being in a loving relationship. But I have my doubts. Because I have never been able to give up my control freak tendencies to truly become a “we” with a man.

When you add that to my trust issues–thanks to my dad’s and step-dads 2/3 less than enthusiastic parenting of a daughter, I don’t trust very easily and I am filled with doubt. (so for any dads of girls out there–it is important to tell your daughter that she is pretty and funny and that she makes you proud.)

Darling Daughter sees the real me, probably as well as anyone can. She told me boyfriends are okay, she doesn’t even care if one moves in eventually (as long as he isn’t a creeper–she is not talking to a creeper!) but no more husbands. I think she is a very smart girl.

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